my Twitter timeline, I nearly popped the popcorn and
poured myself a big glass of the sweet nectar, because I
was ready for her to fill my head with all sorts of
juiciness, like how she went Sydney Bristow on Ben
Affleck and The Nanny after she caught them fucking on
the kitchen counter. But Jennifer Garner has a reputation
as Hollywood’s most wholesome mom to uphold, so she
didn’t go there. BOO! She does, however, manage to
throw a sweet Southern burn at Ben Affleck’s Choose
Your Own Adventure back tattoo.
In her interview with Vanity Fair , Jennifer comes off as
gracious and she never says anything like, “Fuck Ben
Affleck!” I mean, they still go on vacation together. But
she does say that Ben is ~ complicated ~ and when he’s
warm, you can bake your skin on him, but when he’s
cold, he makes you feel like Nicole Kidman getting an
ice water enema. She also pretty much confirms that Ben
and The Nanny had something going on. I’ve heard
Jennifer Garner talk about how much she loves Ben’s
brain before and she does it in this interview too. She
says that he’s always the most brilliant person in the
room. She didn’t go on to say, “if nobody else is in the
room .” There’s a bunch of quotes after the cut including
my favorite burn about his Ed Hardy back tattoo of
horrors:
On how their marriage wasn’t fake and they didn’t do
shit for the cameras (“ Inneresting ,” said the paps at the
farmer’s market):
“It was a real marriage,” Garner tells me. “It
wasn’t for the cameras. And it was a huge
priority for me to stay in it. And that did not
work.”
On if THE NANNY home wrecked her marriage:
“Let me just tell you something,” Garner says.
“We had been separated for months before I ever
heard about the nanny. She had nothing to do
with our decision to divorce. She was not a part
of the equation. Bad judgment? Yes. It’s not
great for your kids for [a nanny] to disappear from
their lives.” Months later, she’s still assessing the
damage. “I have had to have conversations about
the meaning of ‘scandal,’ ” she says, with her
children.
On how she’d marry Ben Affleck on the beach again
even though it didn’t work out. (Her running on the
beach comment is very Nichols Sparks):
“I didn’t marry the big fat movie star; I married
him,” she says. “And I would go back and remake
that decision. I ran down the beach to him, and I
would again. You can’t have these three babies
and so much of what we had. He’s the love of
my life. What am I going to do about that? He’s
the most brilliant person in any room, the most
charismatic, the most generous. He’s just a
complicated guy. I always say, ‘When his sun
shines on you, you feel it.’ But when the sun is
shining elsewhere, it’s cold. He can cast quite a
shadow.”
On how they accidentally ran over a hitchhiker once and
buried the body in the woods (that’s how I read the last
part):
Of course this is not what I imagined when I ran
down the beach, but it is where I am,” she says.
“We still have to help each other get through this.
He’s still the only person who really knows the
truth about things. And I’m still the only person
that knows some of his truths.”
On how she deals with the sads:
“When the earth shakes,” she says, “you go to
what you know from childhood. All of a sudden
I’m sitting down at the piano. I went back to
church. I sat down and wrote bad poetry all day
because I was so sad. I needed a dance class; it
reminded me of my fight scenes [in Alias] and
how I missed that. I feel the need to be physical
and I feel the need to punch someone. You know
what I look forward to? I look forward to getting
past the pity stage. I look forward to just having a
sense of humor.”
On how her kids love their father and she’ll forever be
his friend because of that:
“It’s not Ben’s job to make me happy,” she
insists. “The main thing is these kids—and we’re
completely in line with what we hope for them.
Sure, I lost the dream of dancing with my
husband at my daughter’s wedding. But you
should see their faces when he walks through
the door. And if you see your kids love someone
so purely and wholly, then you’re going to be
friends with that person.”
On Ricky Gervais making fun of Ben Affleck at the
Golden Globes:
“I laughed. People have pain—they do regrettable
things, they feel shame, and shame equals pain.
No one needs to hate him for me. I don’t hate
him. Certainly we don’t have to beat the guy up.
Don’t worry—my eyes were wide open during the
marriage. I’m taking good care of myself.”
On if there was one moment that she realized her
marriage was done:
“That’s a really hard question. I’m a pretty hard
worker. It’s one of the pains in my life that
something I believe in so strongly I’ve completely
failed at twice. You have to have two people to
dance a marriage. My heart’s a little on the
tender side right now, and it’s always easier to
focus on the ways that you feel hurt, but I know
that, with time and some perspective, I’ll have a
clearer sense of where I let the system down,
because there’s no way I get off in this.”
And finally, that tattoo.
Jennifer Garner said this about that mid-life crisis skid
mark :
“You know what we would say in my hometown
about that? ‘Bless his heart.’ A phoenix rising
from the ashes. Am I the ashes in this scenario?”
Garner says with a wink. “I take umbrage. I refuse
to be the ashes.”
Through most of the interview, I sort of just nodded and
said “k, ” but when I got to her beautifully bitchy “bless his
heart” comment, I said, “ Jennifer Garner, I think I love
you. ”
Cc Dlisted.com
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